ASIDE: BACK STORY

Everybody is interested in a good backstory. So... here we go.

Where did I get the idea for Edsel Peck?

2022 had been a rough year for me, as it was for many of us. After my once-reliable medication for many years slowly dissolved into uselessness, a return of severe depression followed suit. (I'm on solid ground now. Fear not.) Multiple failed medication changes and a blatantly obvious mid-life crisis later, I had no clue as to who or what I was. No idea where I was going in life.

I mention this because when I was initially diagnosed with depression over twenty years ago, I wrote a young reader/middle grade book that helped me through that immense life change-- but never did anything with it aside from sharing it with family and friends. At the time I hadn’t planned on aspiring to be a children’s author or anything of the like. Between counseling and the assistance of medication I began to remember moments from between the ages of 8 to 10—most of which I had apparently repressed. Alongside the memories, I began to have the same dreams and nightmares from those childhood years. As opposed to the terror that those nightmares once blanketed me with, these visitations of the past sparked me with ideas. Ideas I wanted to shape, broaden and enhance. I wanted to breathe life into these visions. At first they resulted in a few illustrations but immediately thereafter I found a story brewing. In 2000, Edsel Peck in The Rusted Empire was born.

Last year’s bout of depression inadvertently returned me to those first days of mental illness and I asked myself, "Should I 'remaster' that old book and see where it can go? Can this story, once again, give me purpose? Bring me peace?" Thankfully, with the radiant support of those closest to me—most importantly, my beautiful family—I walked that editorial path for six months and came out the other side with the remastered work which I later self-published.

I shared a brief version of these transparent thoughts on social media at the beginning of 2023 and was overwhelmed by the people who reached out to me with their support and well wishes. Some even purchased the first Edsel Peck book and I’m eternally grateful for that.

So, there’s the backstory. Though I’m an adult, I had to revisit my much younger self to reach my goals. Sorta’ backwards when you think about it—production and progression through intentional regression. It’s something we strive towards—returning to childhood when things were (hopefully) easier. When magic was much easier to attain.

-Lukesh